"I was raped by a stripper"

An Australian man is in court this week accusing a 40-year-old stripper of raping him.

It all began when he was asked by the bestman at his friends wedding.

On the night of stag party, they decided to stay in doors and like every good pre-wedding jol, called a stripper.

It turns out the stripper came with her own toys.

The Melbourne Court heard that at some point during the night, the stripper, offered to do her "dildo routine".

According to the stripper,after she did a lap dance, rubbed her breasts in his face and used the dildo on herself, he asked her: ‘‘Be gentle. Don’t do it too hard.’’ ‘‘No worries,’’she replied.

When the man, who was on all fours and naked from the knees up, asked her not to go near his anus, she said: ‘‘Not a problem. Relax. It’s only fun. I won’t go there.’’

But soon after cream was applied on his exposed bum, he felt a sharp pain, a thrust and the dildo ‘‘go right into my anal passage’’, the shocked jury heard.

The man said he was hurt and shocked and the stripper had the audacity to tell him not to worry because ‘‘only you and I know’’.
He then supposedly turned to her in anger and spat:‘‘What the f--- did you do that for, you stupid bitch.’’

Feeling rightly violated he went to the police.

A medical examination confirmed what he dreaded most - there was a small abrasion below his anal verge ‘‘most likely caused by blunt trauma’’.
In other words, he was raped - by a stripper!

The trial is continuing.

But according to the defence, before making a decision, the jury should consider how the man in all innocence came to be naked, on all four and in proximity of the dildo.



It is surely something to ponder.

It should also scare the shit out of all men who think strippers are cute and cuddly.

Zoom Zoom

The one thing that strikes you about Perth as soon as you start living here is how moderately people drive.

Strict road laws such as reducing the speed limits on the metropolitan freeways to 100kmh, 40kmh in school zones and enforcing strict demerit points penalties have driven down the carnage on the roads.

The cops take policing the roads here very seriously.

Just recently they have unleashed a range of new legislation, what they call "anti-hoon" laws to clamp down on errant drivers.

One the hoon laws that are grating people is the one where if a person is caught driving without a license their cars will be confiscated for 28 days.

The car do not necessarily have to be theirs. The cops have confiscated company cars, mom and dads cars.

One of those anti-hoon laws snared a rare Ferrari California.

The R3.5 million Ferrari (there are only two of them in the world) has been confiscated because it was doing twice the speed limit on a country road in Western Australia.

The car was being driven by respected Financial Review motoring writer Rod Easdown who was clocking it at a staggering 231 kmh. Easdown had taken the car far, very far from civilisation and was merely doing what the car was made for - speed.

Unfortunately, even rare Ferrari's can only go at 100kmh in Australia. So Easdown was arrested and the car brought into Australia by Ateco Automotive is locked up in a police pound somewhere.

The Perfect Headline

As a working journalist, I have never walked into a newsroom where there isn't a trace of professional rivalry between reporters and sub-editors.
Reporters believe subs are there to add in "alleges", commas and headlines while Subs believe they turn reporters copy into English.
"We make you look good," my Sub Editor of a wife often reminds me.And I agree, sometimes.There is no better thing than looking at a story you have written sitting under a witty, punchy headline.
Take the story of the 29 year old man who fell into a vat of molten chocolate at a factory where he works in the US.

What would your headline have read?

See the pic below for what I think is the perfect headline.

Worker Falls into Molten Vat

Oh Perth What a Surprise

It turns out that Perth has a little nasty streak.

Just ask some the US sailors who over the past five days spent their hard earned Yankee dollars on the West Coast of Australia.

Early on Sunday morning, four sailors were attacked while walking through Perth train station, including one who was slashed in the face with a pair of scissors.

Brothel Reinforcements

But according to the cops, the boys and girls of the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS George Washington and guided missile cruiser USS Cowpens were generally well behaved during the stay.

The last time the US navy came to town, five sailor went AWOL, several fights broke out and a brothel closed down because demand was too high.

This time, the brothels - which are legal in Australia - learnt from their past mistakes and called in reinforcements from other states.

Business boomed.

A working girl, I spoke to said: "Lovey, I have been working flat on my back for 12 hours. It's been hectic".

Serious.

The owner of a brothel said she had to put on five extra staff in anticipation of a busy weekend.

Hippie Granny

But spare a thought for one of Perth's long time anti-war activist, 63-year-old Jo Valentine who was arrested after protesting the presence of the US navy.

She was arrested for apparently breaching the peace at the Fremantle docks.

Ms Valentine and a small but determined group of hippies congregated at E-Shed market car where they made it known to who ever cared to listen that they did not appreciate the presence of a nuclear war ship so close to a civilian city.

The peace loving granny was ordered to move on and when she did not, her defiance irked the cops and she was promptly arrested.

Some Trivia

It was the the first visit to Perth for the USS George Washington, the US Navy’s only permanently forward-deployed aircraft carrier.
The ship’s flight deck is more than 330m long and carries about 70 aircraft, including F/A 18 Hornets, F/A 18 E/F Superhornets and SH-60 Seahawk helicopters.
It is equipped with more than 4000 telephones, seven galleys capable of serving 18,000 meals a day, the capacity to distil more than 15,000 litres of fresh water and enough electrical capacity to power several thousand single family homes.

Learning to Live in Issue Free Perth

It took four months.
And now, finally, I have come to terms with the fact that news here in Perth is not ever going to be like the news I covered in Joburg.
I doubt I am going to experience the pure exhilaration of running through alleyways while the cops chase the bad guys or take cover as projectiles take flight.

I doubt I am ever going to taste gunpowder on my lips or hear the distinct crack of gunfire as a gathering turns violent.

And I seriously doubt I am ever going to see a corpse here.

Since I've been here, I have not covered a violent crime scene, have not interviewed an angry victim, have not been disgusted by greed and opulence and have not had to step into squalor.
I have not seen hope in the eyes of the less fortunate or the bounty full laugh of a street vendor and I have not yet been amazed by simple kindness.
News in Perth is not as obvious as news in Joburg. Here, one has to really dig, scratch and find unique angles. A story on the brightly coloured shoes that theatre nurses wear - to bring out their individuality because they all wear the same theatre uniforms - would hardly get the joburg news desk in flutter, but here it made news.
A list of Western Australia's "most wanted" was hidden somewhere on page 12 and not splashed on the front page.
A story on the less fortunate gets a shrug from decision makers and if TV news is to carry a story, you can guarantee that it wont make the paper.
I have come to accept that I am going to cover things like attempted carjackings and not bloody hijackings and I have come to terms with the reality that at a union protest, nobody is going to toyi-toyi.

The colour in my life is no more.

Oh how I miss you SA.